Sometimes Fate Needs a Push
by Dark Bia
Summary: Max is finally giving up his crush on the oblivious Kai. But someone has other plans for the two. MaxXKai. Later Yaoi.
1. I can't, I won't

There are so few KaiXMax stories that I figured I would write one. It's not going to be some long epic crazy thing I don't think but it's an addition to a rather uncommon pairing.

WARNING: Low key Yaoi later on, violence

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblades or any characters, only the story idea

Thanks to LightlessFallenAngel, you totally inspired this!

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**I can't, I won't**

I just wanted to watch him. Just one last time, then I'd stop forever. I knew it was wrong for me to have a crush on someone like him. On a _him_ at all. Guys weren't suppose to like other guys, especially when one of those guys was the captain of the others team. Not when they were someone like him.

It was hard to get out of the Dojo without Tyson and the others asking a million questions. Lucky for me Kenny had an urge to have Tyson test out some new equipment so my whereabouts were quickly forgotten. So I raced down the street as fast as I could.

Since the next tornament was announced we'd all be training extra hard. Kai had been killing us with double practice in the morning. After wards he would always disappear, not that we could complain after such hard sesssions. I followed him once, he always went to the same stream out in the woods. No one else seemed to know the place even existed so it was perfect for him. And even more perfect for someone who wanted to watch without being seen. Far more than I should have I would end up watching him.

I hated him for all the emotions he caused me. He made me love him in way that shouldn't have touched someone like me. A one sided love. One that broke me down to tears. I told myself I cried for the last time, everyone was starting to notice a change in me. I wouldn't let them know my secret. I was going to deny it, erase it from my mind. Never again would I let myself follow him anywhere like this, never again would I watch him letting the rest of the world fade away. I just needed this one last time to say good bye to my fantasy.

By the time I got to my usual spot on a hill just by where he practiced it was almost dinner time. I knew something wasn't right the moment I got there. He wasn't training, he was just lying in the grass with his eyes closed. Something was terribly wrong. I was almost tempted to run down and ask him if he was okay. But I never did. I couldn't ask him, there was no way to explain why I was there. I didn't want him to have even the slightest hint that I was watching him. That I was wanting him.

I just sat down soaking in the view. It's all I could do. How badly I wanted to lie down beside him, he'd wrap his arms around me and I snuggle into his chest. How I longed for that cold stare of his to break, and one of those rare smiles come out just for me. Just once I wanted those lips on mine.

I sighed out loud, things I would never have. Things I wouldn't allow myself to think anymore. They were tearing me apart and they were hopeless. Not even Tyson, my best friend, could help me or understand this. No one would ever know. No. This would be locked up tight in a box never to come out and cause me agony again.

For the last time I laid down in the grass, my eyes still on him down by the stream below me. I'd let my thoughts wander, I'd let myself imagine what it would be like to lie down beside him one. What those strong arms would feel like wrapped around me, holding me close to him. Those lips that only spoke cruel words, how sweet they would taste on my lips. And before I realized it my vision blurred and warm tears lulled me to sleep.

When I woke up it wasn't peacefully. I heard screaming, and the unmistakeable sound of blades tearing into each other. I jumped to my feet scanning the area for Kai. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I couldn't even comprehend any of the scene, all I saw was Kai. There was one brief moment when he turned around, our eyes locked, and panic filled those crimson eyes as he mouthed my name. The world went black as quickly as I had woken up.

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Odd chapter I know but all great stories have to start some where. And this sets the grounds for the rest of the thing, and seriously its taking a complete 180 turn from this whole chapter. Let me know what you think. I'll update in the next few days! Thanks for reading!


	2. Senselss

Hey guys! Sorry this is so short. I just wanted to get something up so you guys knew I wasn't just abandoning this story =( . Now I know the story is kind of confusing and blotty but it's suppose to be. It all make sense in the chapters to come.

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**Senselss**

It was cold.

The night must have came while I was sleeping. I was a wake for a while, thoughts aimlessly bouncing around my head. It was all so jumbled normal comprehension of things was gone. The cold wind started up again and I was shivering like mad now. But something warm was wrapped around me, I pulled closer to it. Thats when it all hit me. I wasn't on the hill anymore. My last thoughts before I passed out came swarming back...Kai!

Was he okay? His face was so paniced before. Kai never paniced. The whole scene was a blur besides him. Damn it how could I pass out when he needed me! Someone needed me and I couldn't be there for them. But this wasn't just someone, it was kai. I instantly opened my eyes and tried to move but failed. I was in a dark room with hardly any light, but even in the darkness I knew I was back at Tyson's dojo. It was quiet and was everyone? I tried again to move but a pressure on my chest held me down. I pulled my hand from beneath the blanket and grabbed at my chest. My hand found that another's hand was what held me down. They tried to pull their hand back but I held it tight. After antoher moment of staring into darkness my eyes adjusted to the light and I could see just whos hand I was holding hostage.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Kai! You're okay!"

The immediate relief to know that he was okay. That we were both safe back in the dojo was almost enough to calm me back into my sleep. Kai was so close to me though, my heart was going crazy there was no way I could sleep. His presence always did one of two things calmed me down or made my whole body flutter like the breaking surface of water. _I wonder Kai do you know the strings you pull on my feeble heart?_

His face was shadows in the dark room and he remained quiet. Neither of us moved for a while. The air around us was becoming heavy with something I didn't know, was too out of it to even realize. My flustered mind running wild with a million questions, it hurt my head to even think about them. I felt Kai pull at his hand again harder this time pulling it free. Kai stared at me for a second as if he meant to say something. Except this was Kai. Words were not something he gave out whenever. HE then stood and began to leave the room. I tried to call after him but my lungs were too tired to make the words instead a graspy gasp came out. He stopped dead in his foot steps. I thought, and hoped, that he would come back. To tell me what happend, and what was going on. Just to stay with me for a while. Not to leave me alone in the darkness.

"Go back to sleep Max." He kept walking towards the door.

The weight of my eyelids became too much and I couldn't keep them open. I could feel the dark abyss tugging me down. My voice was almost less than a whisper as I spoke his name, yet he heard it. What ever he did I had no idea. Whether he left or stayed in the room I had no clue because the darkness was consuming. But in my last moments of conciousness, maybe it had just been my mind playing tricks. I heard his voice whisper my name. The comfort of his voice lullaled me into the darkness.

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Thanks for read guys. Sorry it was so short. Atleast I'm updating lol. I should have more up by the end of the week and it won't be this short next time.


	3. Heart Strings

Hey Guys! This chapter is a little longer than the other ones thankfully but its still pretty short =(. And don't think that the old questions won't get answered because they will. Its just part of the story I swear lol. ENJOY!

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Heart Strings

The sun rose and morning came yet neither had woken me from the deep sleep I had fallen in to. I finally woke up around noon when the sun was high in the sky. Although if it hadn't been for Tyson and chief argueing I don't think I ever would have woken up. Even after I was fully awake I couldn't seem to find the strength to move, or the motive to. My night didn't seem like a reality, but at the same time it was confusion and let downs. I had dream that night too. Nightmares actually. I had no recollection of them in my memory. Just the terrible feeling in my stomach.

It was quiet for a long while. I was pretty sure that I was alone at the dojo. Or atleast that Tyson wasn't home. That didn't help to get me motivated to move. I sighed, a few more minutes in the peace and I'd get up. My eye lids drifted shut as my mind wandered. Dangerous thoughts came to mind. Just yesterday I swore to push them away. Kai.

Whatever happened the day before was a blur to me. I was sure of two things above all else. First, whatever events had happened Kai had some how saved me. One minute I get knocked out cold, the next I wake up in my bed. The only one who could have done that was Kai. My Kai. And second the next week was going to be one of the longest in my life. My infatuation with Kai, or what ever you wanted to call it was not handling this all well. I wanted him so badly to be there and comfort me. Just to hold me until I felt okay. But that's not on the list of possibilities.

What was wrong wtih me? I wasn't suppose to feel like this. Especially with _him_. Kai wasn't in to anyone. He was hardly friends with us, even after two years of us all practically living together. My feelings were wrong, and there was no one I could turn to for comfort. I know Tyson and Rei and Chief... they'd be okay with it. They would just never be able to understand. Them knowing would only make it harder to forget. If anyone knew, I'd never be able to let it go. And at this point letting go was impossible in the first place. He was always right there. Silent in his ways, hardly a word or action. Every moment I still clung to. Memories would never go away would they? I just wanted more than anything, if I couldn't have him, to be able to let him go.

_Don't let go._

I sat straight up and gripped at my hair in fistfuls supressing a scream. Everytime I thought like that. Of wanting to let him go, a voice from the depths of my head would whisper sweet hope to me.

"It's not fair!"

"Whats not fair?"

My hands dropped to my sides immediately as my eyes searched the room for the speaker. In all the time I laid there I had never heard anyone come in, or heard anyone in the room. The color in my face turned beat red as my eyes set on Kai. He was sitting in the open door way to the backyard with his arms crossed over his chest, eyes closed. How could I not know he was there?

I almost choked on my own tongue trying to find words for him. Nothing came out. A thick silence filled the air. I knew if I didn't break it he wouldn't. I didn't think I could handle that much anxiety either. So I threw out the first question that came to mind.

"Where is everyone? It's so quiet I kind of figured it was just me here."

There was no joke to his voice. "Can't say I really know or care Maxie. I told them to leave you alone so they left after practice." His voice was steady, calm as always. It sent chills through my spine. My ears were begging for him to say more. To call me _Maxie. _I couldn't help but smile when he spoke no matter what he was saying. It was so rare. Then a cold fact hit me.

The two of us were alone.

From what Kai said the team was gone. All of them. Except me and him. My body apractically shook with nerves and excitement. This kind of thing never happened. There was always someone with us, or would be at any moment. Yet this time was different. I'd never had a chance to do anything. Ever. If there was a time to act I knew this was it. Especially because my body was craving to crawl over to him, sit myself on his lap and kiss that cold smile of his. To wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him as if he was mine. To make him all mine.

I wasn't going to let this oppertunity to go. I really was going to get up and crawl over to him. And do something. I opened my mouth to say something bit I got no further because Kai coughed a few times and stood up leaving the room.

"Stay here."

My mouth shut tight nothing else could be said. Part of me was relieved while another screamed about not doing anything. And yet there was a third side of me. The one that won over the other two. Why was Kai in here with me if everyone else was gone? My cheeks blazed. It was Kai. He never hung around if he didn't think he had to. Or did he? Was he just baby sitting me? Or was he watching over me? I was shaking. Everything was just so weird. One day I decide to end it and the next he might be getting closer to me. Was I just reading too much into this? Maybe this was a coincidence. It was so frustrating.

I threw myself back onto my pillow. Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice Kai had already come back in the room. When I saw him leaning against the door way I gasped a little. He stared at me for a moment, those grey eyes cold and emotionless. "Oh hey didn't see you there."

There was no reply, not that I thought I would actually get any. He walked over to me and put something on the floor beside me. I was too busy looking at him to notice it. At no point would he actually look at me. He just turned and walked towards the door.

"You better eat, they'll be back soon. And we have a lot of training to do."

I blinked confused. He had set down a plate of food, I'm sure something Rei had left for me before he left. Somehow when I looked back up he was gone. I hadn't even heard a sing foot step but he was far gone. Leaving the room to feel empty without him. Empty and alone, just like he always left me. Why did he always make me feel that way?

"Kai if you only knew..."

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Thanks for reading. I hope you guys liked it. Please review =D


	4. Highs and Lows

Thanks everyone for your comments I really appreciate it! I'm trying to update faster so that I can finally get to the part that you all have been asking about. Just be patient should be in the next chapter. Enjoy!

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**Highs and Lows**

I ate all the food he'd given me. My appetite was normally ravenous but for some reason I didn't want to eat. I had to force myself to take in each bite. The alarm clock that sat next to my stuff told me the time was almost 1. Soon enough they really would be back and I had to be out of this funk. Sitting around wasn't going to get me any answers about anything. It would just make me more upset and confused.

I threw back the covers and forced myself out of bed and to the bathroom. The whole dojo was quiet, my feet echoed on the wooden floor. Where was Kai? Even my softest foot steps could be heard with no sound to cover it up. He always seemed to walk around without a sound. That was my Kai for you. He could have been standing right behind me and I doubt I would have even heard him. No, he could be close enough to touch, I wouldn't hear him. And he wouldn't touch me so I wouldn't feel him.

I didn't realize I was in the bathroom until I saw myself in the mirror. Tears streaming down my face. My vision was blurring to the point of blindness. I wiped at my eyes but it didn't help.

"Kai..."

His name on my tongue takes the breath out of me. I dropped to the ground in a lump. All energy ripped from my body so harshly that I can't even cry out. This doesn't feel right. Nothing in my whole life has ever ripped me apart like this. My head was spinning. I couldn't think of anything but Kai. His eyes, his smirk. They were the only clear image in my head. I must be losing my mind, having a break down. Kai why can't you save me? You weren't mine to lose but it feels like my heart is breaking.

_Time to change that. But first we gotta get up Maxie. _

My strength came back in a flash and the tears ran their last stream down my cheecks. Those weren't my thoughts. I didn't care. They gave me back the feeling of life. I didn't feel broken hearted. For the first time in a long time I felt hope.

New energy was flowing through me like I slept for a year. I threw my clothes off and hopped into the shower. The water was a rush, it felt so new to me. I'd taken a million showers before but it still felt like the first time. So warm and fresh. I smiled as I watched colors spin down the drain, browns and reds. Wait what? That wasn't normal. I stepped back from the water and looked down at myself, whatever had caused that color was all gone now. Down the drain. Another mystery to add to my pile. What happened the day before?

I still smiled. Kai had saved me. I knew he had. My kai. I'd find a way to make him mine. At the very least I'd find a way to tell him. I was a blader in and out of the ring, I never gave up no matter the fight. This was no different. I'd fight til there was nothing left to fight for. I leaned against the while and wrapped my arms around myself. My eyes drifted shut, the smile on my lips never faded. One day the arms that wrapped around me would be his.

One day he would me mine.

The guys got back not long after I was out of the shower. Ray was the first to ask him about how he was feeling. I told him I ws feeling better, just needed some rest. The rest of the day was nothing but normal. So normal that Kai was missing. I was worried but my mood was still so high I wasn't going to let it get to me. I mean it was Kai, he was always okay. Nothing ever hurt him. With the comfort of my new confidence that he would be mine soon enough I didn't feel like I had to go follow him. Part of me wanted to but I knew I didn't have to. Why chase in secret what would soon be yours?Without him near me, distracting me with every move the day flew by.

By the time he got back every one was getting ready for bed. Tyson infact had passed out long ago right after dinner. So the evening had been peaceful, everything felt normal. If I hadn't seen Kai standing in the door way I swear I could have forgotten that there was something in my life that wasn't quite right. I smiled at him as soon as I realized he was there. He stared at me for a moment and walked out of the room. I wanted to follow him. Just talk to him. My mood was still sailing high in the clouds. I still knew better.

I turned my attention to the blanket in front of me. My knuckles were turning white, I didn't even know I was doing that?

"Max you alright?"

My eyes shot up from my hands as they slipped under the blanket. Ray was staring at me from across the room with his hand on the light switch. I looked around me and noticed that Chief had already fallen a sleep and Ray's bed was all mad and ready to sleep in.

"Yeah I'm fine. Goodnight Ray." He smiled and flicked off the lights. My eyes took a while to adjust to the darkness that engulfed me. I heard the sound of Ray as he crawled under his blankets. Everything was quiet after that, Tyson wasn't snoring either. I laid down, closing my eyes planning to sleep. Except my mind was not going to have that. I had pushed Kai out of my head for most of the day until now. In the cold darkness of the room I longed for him. It wasn't as bad tonight as others. Some I stayed up for hours just thinking about him and others I cried myself to sleep.

Sleep was beginning to take over me when a sound made me sit straight up. I heard it again and threw my covers back, leaving the room as quietly as I could. The sound was gone, I stood stock until it came. I walked as quietly as I could in the direction it had come from. The back yard by the pond. At first I didn't see anything. Then I heard that dreadful sound again, my eyes immediately followed it to a dark figure leaning against a beam. I watched as Kai's chest heaved right before another cough shock his whole body. It was hard cough that shook his whole body and seemed to come from the deepest depths of his chest.

I ran over to him not sure what to do. He was holding the beam for support so tightly his knuckles turned white so utterly visible in the moon light. When he stopped coughing for a moment I put my hand on his shoulder, his head whipped around to face me.

"Max..." His voice trailed off. At first I didn't know what I was seeing then it struck me hard. There was a line of blood running from the side of his mouth. My eyes opened wide with horror, I looked down at the ground splatters of blood dotted the ground. I must have looked terrified because Kai immediately recoiled. He whipped his mouth on the back of his hand and turned away from me. I felt so embarrassed, it was as if I had caught him in one of his weakest moments. A moment I had no right to see in his eyes.

He turned and breezed past me, I turned just barely catching him by the hand. It was cold and wet. I knew with his blood. "Are you okay?"

His voice was cold as ice, "Leave me alone. Go back to bed."

I tried to grip his hand harder but the blood made it slip from mine. The night was so quiet I heard droplets of it splatter the floor. He was pulling away fast so I grabbed his shoulder. Before I even realized what had happened he had turned around and grabbed my hand. I stood for a moment transfixed by the way the moon light played across his face. For a bare moment I could pretend that this wasn't such a horror scene.

"Please Kai I just want to help you."

"You can't help me. Just back off."

I needed to help him. I knew it somewhere in my heart that I had to help him. Why didn't he feel that?

"Oh Kai..." I had no words for him. I couldn't think of any words that would convey my feelings to him. I wanted to cry, just crumble into a bal and cry. To scream my feelings to him. I guess my face must have showed some of how I felt because Kai seemed to soften.

"Maxie... I'm alright just go back to bed don't worry about it." His voice, the one that was so normally cold, had hint of kindness in it. That there was enough to get me to go back to bed. I left him with much hesitation. But how could I deny those kind words? I forced each foot step away from. My feet felt like lead. I looked over my shoulder at him . He had turned away from me, staring out at the moon. The light danced over him enchancing each feature making him more gorgeous than usual.

That night I waited til he came to bed. My whole body screamed to let me sleep, I was totally exhausted. I just had to wait to make sure he was okay. I waited. Til I heard the change in his breathing to know he was a sleep. Only then did I dare let the dark abyss of sleep that had been trying so hard to consume me, take me under.

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Hope you guys liked it! Let me know your thoughts good or bad lol. Thanks for reading!


	5. Falling Deeper

Hey everyone! Thanks for reading this far haha. I actually got this chapter to be a tad longer. Shocker! Now I utterly hate having extra characters but she was neccessary. On the bright side shes not like there trying to get one or the other. She isn't close to either or anything. Hope you guys like it!

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**Falling Deeper**

The days that followed that night with Kai were anything but okay. The tournament grew closer, we trained harder and I watched as Kai got sicker and sicker. It began with that retched cough, he was quick to learn how to cover it up. Then came the shaking. I noticed it when he was blading once against Tyson. As the battle went on his hands began to shake more and more. Kai just barely won that fight and left as soon as he could.

I knew he was getting bad when he slept in. Kai was normally the first or second up. A few days had past since I first saw him coughing. I woke up to find him in the death of all sleeps. At first when I found him sleeping so sound I sat and watched him for a while, hoping he'd wake up soon. He didn't stir at all. He was looking paler, almost sickly pale. I knew he was keeping secrets and what ever they could be I had no clue. All I knew for sure is that it was hurting him and it made me sick to my stomach to think about it. No matter how much I questioned him he never would tell me anything. He was avoiding me as much as he possible I could tell. Even in his sleep he seemed to pull so far from me.

I had drifted off to sleep after a while and woke to find him still in the same deep slumber. No one dared to wake him and it was decided to let him sleep as long as he wanted. Tyson was the first to suggest it. We all knew he just used it as an excuse to take some time off but no one objected.

Since I had nothing better to do, or rather anything I wanted to do more I sat with Kai. He laid in his bed and I laid in mine. Watching him brought he feelings that I was so accustomed to return. All the confidence of the nights before had washed away. I laid there in absolute silence wishing I could hold him while he slept. The cruelty of this world turned it into just one more of the things I would never have.

My eyes were locked on his sleeping form. The rhythm of his breathing was so unusual. I knew he wasn't having a peaceful sleep. No. He was in pain. But would waking him up really help him? What would he even think if I woke him up. Me of all people.

He started coughing. A deep hard cough. He rolled over on his side and started coughing like he was choking. Screw what ever he thought. I ran to him in a flash. I was on my knees beside him and I was panicing. I didn't know what to do. He was coughin to the point of choking. What could I do? What if he chocked to death?

I was scared but I did the first thing that came to mind I pulled him up from the ground with one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other holding the two of us from the ground. He was bigger than me by enough that it made the act hard but manageable. Kai kept coughing and I saw blood specks on the floor. Kai finally seemed to be waking up because he put his arms out in front of him to hold him up. Even with him doing that I still had to use a lot of my strength to hold him up. The coughing didn't stop just yet. Actually more blood kept coming with worse coughs that shook his whole body. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to cry and make it all stop. I wanted Kai to just be okay or for me to be able to do something. . This kind of thing never happened to me, I had no clue how to handle it. The more paniced I got the tighter I held onto Kai. One of his hands somehow found its way to the hand that I had wrapped around his chest. Kai's cold fingers gripped my hand, the action took my by surprise. It was more of a reflex than anything but I twisted my fingers so that our fingers intertwinded. He gripped my hand hard as he coughed. They began to become less fierce over time and the blood stopped coming. Eventually the coughing had stopped all together and he panted hard for a long bit.

"It's alright Kai." I didn't even know I had spoken. I felt almost embarrassed at doing so. But I didn't care and Kai didn't seem to either. He was more focused on controlling his own body. The panic had finally passed only to be replaced by something much more disturbing. My body was leaned over Kai's back with our hands intertwined. I could feel my face turning red. When Kai finally stopped gasping for air he seemed to become more aware of what was going on. I didn't trust him to have his own strengthjust yet so I pulled him back and plopped him back to a laying down position. He stared up at me through half shut eyes. I don't know if at that moment he was really aware of who I was or what was happening. He had stopped physically dying and thats what was enough for the moment.

I looked down at our hands, fingers still intertwined as if lovers. Silly of me. Yet for a moment I let my mind to pretend that. I let the feel of Kai's hand form to mine in a memory. One I would hold close when there were times when I wanted him so badly but knew I couldn't touch.

"Kai are you okay? Can you hear me?"

His eyes shot open as if waking up from a trance. "Maxie?" His voice was utterly shocked to be staring up at me. I smiled in relief he was finally okay again after all that chaos and yet he didnt seem to be aware that anyting had happened at all. I reluctantly pulled my hand from his. He sat up slowly, hesitantly. I followed his eyes to the large splatters of blood on the floor next to us. They didn't seem to surprise him but more anger him.

"What happened?" Kai's voice was back to his cold tone. Not once did he look at me.

I hesitated. "Your coughing woke me up. I came over and helped you sit up while you hacked up all that. Thats it. Now why don't you tell me why that happened in the first place?"

"I see." He stood up disregarding my question. Just like all the other times the past few days I questioned him. I watched him go over the cabinet in the far side of the room praying to god he didn't just fall over. He opened the doors and pulled out a small white cloth that was spotted with dirt. One of the rags I'd seen Granpa use to clean about the Dojo. Kai walked over to the blood and wiped it up with out an acknowledgement to me at all. He took the cloth with him as he went to exit the room. I jumped to my feet meaning to go after him.

"Max don't." His words stopped me dead in my tracks. "I'm fine now. Don't concern yourself this isn't your problem. I appreciate the help but don't."

Something in my gut told me that he was wrong and we both knew it. He was gone before I could protest. I was on my feet, dressed and out the door long before I realized that I was in a full rage or that I wasn't anywhere near the dojo. Kai was being a bastard. All I wanted was to help him because I cared about him. Was that really so hard for him to deal with? That another human being cared him? Gasp, worse yet I'd seen him weak. Hell he'd clung to me in pain for a while.

I found myself walking by the park. I knew if there was one thing that would make me feel better at a time like this it was a good beybattle. And I was in luck because a bunch of neighborhood kids were there with blades spinning. The few hours I spent with them. Just watching at first had been enough to calm my nerves a bit. When I finally got into a match I started to forget all about the incident.

Hours passed still. It was far into the after noon and I hadn't had a single thought about anything but the beyblades and bladers in front of me. But people were starting to leave and without them as a distraction my mind wandered back to Kai. I hoped he was okay. A deep ache in my chest made me want to run back to the house and find him. I knew it would be a waste of my effort. And in the end it would only hurt my heart more. I couldn't face that right now.

"Hey Max want to go for some ice cream?"

I turned around and found that everyone had left except for one of the girls. She was older than me but we stood at eye level. She had only battled a few times against the others and her skill was clearly beyond theirs so she stopped battling early on. Her eyes were sharp but something drew me to them. And for that moment in time I knew she was a good enough distraction that I could forget my problems atleast for a little while longer.

I smiled."Yeah sure we might that'd be great."

"You seem like you need it." I looked over at her as we walked up the hill towards town. Was it really that obvious? Was I in such a state of distress that someone I never met before could tell? I must really be falling apart at this point.

"Yeah I guess I do. Had a long week." _If only you knew_. First I decide to give up on my ungodly crush on my captain, fall a sleep in the woods only to wake up with him freaking out. Mysteriously blacking out in the middle in the middle of it all only to wake up in my bed completely unable to move with Him watching over me. Then the next day I have a complete break down in the shower and later find Kai physically falling to pieces. And to top it all off today he seems like hes even worse but won't tell me anything. So many things happened and I have no idea about why anything happened. It was enough to make me want to rip my hair out. Kai had all my answers I knew and he wouldn't tell me anything. Why was it so important for him to keep these secrets?

The girl and I reached the ice cream shop after a short while. I tried to start several conversations to fill the gaps. I felt so out of my shoes with everything that was happening. Eventually she turned to me grinning and told me I didn't have to try and make small talk. And with that I was oddly thankful for the silence. My eyes were on my feet the whole time, counting the cracks in the road pretending I was okay like everyone else. When we got to the ice cream place she bought us both a cone and we sat on a bench outside. The breeze welcomed underneath the warm sun. The air around us was almost serene. I sighed knowing that this moment of peace would end soon like the ice cream melting in my hands. Nothing good can last if it is ever allowed to begin.

"So Max if you don't mind me asking why are you so down today?"

Her question I had felt coming for a while. I had wondered about how to answer it. I could tell her everything down to the last detail. What would it really matter? I didn't even know this girls name. I'd never seen her before. What was the worst she could do? I didn't think she would do anything. I didn't get a bad feeling about her, but then I was no fool to my naiivity.

"I don't even know your name."

She smiled with her unusual half grin. "All the more reason to share."

I laughed at her. What kind of response was that? In a way she was right though. I wanted to tell someone. But I couldn't lead her to anything that could hurt Kai. For so long I'd wanted to share my secrets. To tell someone who it wouldn't affect my life about my sins. My love for another guy. For my captain. And what a terrible love it was. I wanted to tell just one soul how much I longed for him to hold me in his arms and kiss me. I wanted someone to know of my tears that I would die for him to wipe away. To wake up in the morning with his arms around me with those beautiful eyes that I felt deep into the depths of my soul. I wanted freedom of my burden.

"I love some one. Someone I have no right to love at all. And they're hurting right now," I threw my head back looking up at the clouds that danced in the sky. "I want to help them so much. They just won't let me. No matter what I say or do they just won't let me near them. I'm fine with out them ever loving me back the way I love them." I swallowed hard." They don't know about it... but they still won't let me help them. I'm scared for him."

When I finished she was silent. The silence was filled with a calmness. And I couldn't let it go away yet. So I kept talking.

"They are sick to the point of being physcially ill. I've tried to help them when it happens... but they just push me away. They never let anyone see them when they're vulnerable. Until the first time I saw them with panic in their eyes did I even know that he could be vulnerable. Kai was so scared-"

My hand shot to cover my mouth dropping my ice cream to the ground. I let it out. I let his name fall from my lips like that ice cream. Smashing on the ground in a disaster. His name was out there. And with his name all my secrets were opened like a raw wound.

I turned to her trying to think of something to say. Her eyes were on me and somehow that only kept the calmness in the air around us. "I won't share your secrets Max. You can relax." She laughed. And somehow I was laughing too. The words were out and the world wasn't coming to an end. My world didn't feel like it would fall to pieces at any moment. Above all I felt relief.

"You know if you love him so much. Telling him might be worth a shot. I've seen this kind of thing before. Honesty is the best policy."

Who was this crazy girl?

"You should just tell him. It sounds like he really needs you right now."

The wind was whipping her hair out behind her. I'd seen it before.

"Even if he doesn't return your feelings you'll never know."

That dark hair, and those dark eyes seemed to call to me. They brought an odd feeling to my chest.

"Better to live and die than not at all ya know?"

I knew Kai needed me. At that exact moment a hard pain gripped my chest. I knew it wasn't mine. The girl. She was right. He needed me.

She turned and placed a hand on mine. An image flashed into my head. Dark woods with nothing in view but those eyes. She was there that night in the wood with Kai. I jumped up from the seat staring down at her.

"Who are you?" My voice showed my panic.

The girl just smiled at me. "I hope you help him before it's too late."

I turned and ran. I knew what she meant. Kai was in trouble. I could feel his pain gripping my chest. I was right to think I could help him. And it scared me to think he might not ever let me help him. What would happen if I didn't succeed? What if I never even got another shot to try?

I raced on towards the dojo praying I made it in time.

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I know you guys hate that I STILL haven't really answered any questions about Max and really only posed more questions. BUT in the next chapter I will infact provide the answers you have all been waiting for. What really happened to Max and why Kai is basically dying. And perhaps there shall be some Yaoi. Hehe but you'll just have to wait.

Thanks for reading! I'd love comments cause they motivate me to write more ( and remind me that I'm actually writing a story, I tend to forget).


	6. Love and War

I'm so sorry it took so long. I've had so much going on that I totally forgot about it lol. Thanks everyone so much for all your reviews andreminders. I wanted to thanka few individually but Im utterly exhausted and just want this to be up before I forget again !

Warning: Mild Yaoi, blood, violence

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**Love and War**

It took me longer than I thought it would to get back to the dojo. Even before I reached it I knew Kai wouldn't be there. Something in my gut told me so. On the bright side the pain in my chest had passed not long after I left the girl behind. When I actually got to the dojo Grandpa informed me that everyone had left and been gone for a while. I stilled double checked all over to see if Kai was there. Around each corner I begged to see him. Of course he wasn't anywhere to be found.

I sat down outside by one of Grandpa's ponds taking in a few deep breaths. I knew there weren't more than a few hours left til sunset so everyone would be back soon enough. Kai would probably be back shortly after them. I had no clue where he could be. I knew I could go looking for him if I really wanted to. But was it really the right thing to do? If he needed to find me he'd have no way of doing so. For that matter I wondered if he, by some ungodly chance, had gone looking for me. Was that possible for some someone like him to care enough about another to go looking for them? I doubted he could even move enough to get far looking for me.

A moment of panic caught my breath in my chest. What if he had gone looking for me and got sick? What if he went looking in the woods where no one would find him? I jumped to my feet and sprinted out the front gate f the dojo. If there was some chance Kai was out looking for me I'd look for him too.

My first instinct was to go to the place in the woods. The place where this whole mess began. If Kai got sick there it would be all too fitting to everything and I couldn't let that happen. My adreniline was pumping like no other. All the running and the worry was making me go nonstop. I swear I could take down a bus if I ran into one.

And all the adreniline was doing wonders for my thought process. Everything that had happened I could look at clearly for the first time. I knew for fact that whatever happened that caused me to black out was because of that girl. And I knew that she had something to do with what was happening to Kai. From what she had told me I could help Kai even though he was rejecting me around every corner. I knew she was right. I just had to push harder and I would be able to help Kai and I both. Thats all that really mattered. My affection for him would have to wait til later.

I reached the spot in the woods after almost a half hour of running. I didnt even realize I was standing in the clearing until I collapsed from exhaustion. My body must have known I was there before I did. I panted furiously and was getting light headed. The cool breeze that rushed at me from the shady depths of the trees was such a relief. My blue eyes scanned the whole area but Kai was no where to be seen. That bit of comfort that he wasn't here dead on the floor was enough that I fell back in the grass. I stared straight up at the clouds above me. Eyes slowly closing. I just needed a rest. I'd go look for Kai in a minute. As soon as I caught my breath.

Exhaustion got the better of me and I was a sleep before I'd known it was coming.

I woke up because I was shivering. My eyes flew open only too see the sun gone from the sky and slowly dipping down below the trees on the horizon. How long could I have been a sleep? I looked around and found that I was still alone and things were going to be getting dark fast. I jumped to my feet, now full of every from my unplanned nap. I didn't run full force through the woods the way I had come, no instead it was more like a brisk jog. Something in me told me there was no immediate danger, and I was beginning to trust that feeling more than anything else right now.

When I finally got back to the dojo it was past sunset and far into twilight. I could see that everyone was there. I stepped into the back yard where we trained to find everyone there except Kai who I already knew wouldn't be there.

"Hey guys."

Chief turned away frim Dizzy to face me.

"Oh hey Max where ya been all day?"

"No where special just around and about. Whats going on here?"

"Kai told us to start training since no one did this morning."

That was some how a relief to me. He was here and at least in his right mind to some degree. "Was he mad?"

Chief got quiet for a moment." No he just seemed tired. I think he's got whatever you had."

I didn't need to hear anymore, I turned from Kenny. "I'm gonna go talk to him catch ya in a bit." I was out the door again before he could muster up some simple response or protest. I had a mission to find Kai.

The air was crisp and the moonlight was nice in lighting me a path along the porch of the dojo. Not as many lights were on as I would have thought. It was stil nice with all the stars in the sky. When I reached the sliding door to our room I could feel it in my bones that he would be on the other side of the door.

He was there of course in the dimly lit room sitting against a wall staring into nothingness. I walked in but didn't close the door behind me. The room felt stale and cold I thought it needed the fresh air.

"Hey Kai."

"Hn." Was his only acknowledgement that I was even in the room. I stared down at him. He looked sick as ever. Hid beneath sheets of a cold attitude I could see the pain he was feeling. I doubted he could stand up for long if he tried. Thats why he was here in the dark where no one would bother him. And to think it was getting so bad Chief was noticing. He hardly noticed anything that didn't show up on Dizzy's screen.

I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to help him. Knew that I had to help him even if he wouldn't let me. Why couldn't he see that too? Just looking at him made me feel the affects it was having on him. He was drifting further and further away. What would happen when he couldn't handle himself anymore?

"So Kai are you feeling any better?" I dared him to lie to my face just once more. Could he even manage that much?

He didn't bother with that even and stood up using the wall behind him. He walked straight past me. Not again. I wouldn't let him fall between my fingers again. By the time I turned around he was already heading down the porch shadowed in the darkness.

"Kai stop. Talk to me please."

My words meant nothing to him and he kept walking. I wasn't letting him go.

"Damn it Kai talk to me I just wan to help you!"

He laughed at me, cruel as always. Yet he stopped.

"Maxie you can't help me."

"You can't lie to me Kai. I'm the only one who can help you."

He turned sharply around and stared at me with a cold glare. "You talk big for some one who doesn't know anything."

"I can feel your pain Kai."

I didn't even see him move. In his state I didn't even know he could move at all. Yet he had me pinned between himself and the wall. His arms were position on each side of me against the wall blocking my escape if I ever intended to make one.

"Does it really hurt you Maxie?" A strange tone filled his voice. It was soft and kind for once in a million years.

I could feel the heat from his body he was so near. I tried to talk but I stumbled on my own words. The way the moon cast shadows across his body was playing havoc with my heart. When I was able to speak my voice was a whipser. "Why?"

The air was hot between us seemed to be twisting thoughts around in his head when he suddenly grapped at his chest in pain. I felt it to but less intensely.

"Kai!" I moved closer to him placing my hand over his instinctly. The electricity between our hands brought Kai out of his pain and he pushed me back to the wall.

His face had been shadowed til now. Those beautiful eyes of his were full of some odd emotion and burning with intensity.

"Do you really want to help me Maxie?"

The sound of my name on his lips made my heart flutter. I could hardly manage a nod and my ears pulsed with my raging pulse.I was so close to Kai that his intensity was making me speechless. No breathless.

I was lost in his eyes as he leaned down to me. One of his hands found its way to my chin. He ran his thumb across my lips before he tipped my head back and kissed me. His lips were as hot as any of my dreams as imagined. The hand he had held my chin with slid up my jaw line and to the back of my head where his fingers tangled into my hair. He used this to pull me closer deepening the kiss.

My mind was a blank canvas painted by passion that made my body scream for more. It was all too much for my body to handle and my knees buckled beneath me. Kai caught me as I fell against him still never breaking our kiss. He pushed me back against the wal, his hands slide down my sides drinking me in til they reached my butt. Kai lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his wasit. His hands still on me was driving me crazy. At some point I had been so lost in him that I didnt realize how much of me he controlled.

Some how his tongue had made its way into my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling us impossibly closer. I felt like I was losing myself in him. Each touch was driving me further into a place I had never been.

His mouth slipped from mine and he trailed rough kiss across my jaw line and on to my neck. The touch of his hot breath on my neck made me gasp. I was clinging to him for dear life as my body became liquid beneath his touch. His kisses were so deep and filled with passion that I lost all conciousness of where I ended and he began. I was getting lost in his fire.

I lost all feeling in my body except for where his hands held me and his mouth drank me in. My mind was pulling me somewhere. My body wasn't hesitating to let me go either. With each kiss that Kai pressed into my body I felt myself falling more and more. Closer to the place my mind wanted me to go...

My body and I were no longer connected. Kai's kisses were gone, and as I looked around I realized my mind was no longer with him either. I was standing in the middle of a field, one I had visited a hundred times, but I couldn't feel the ground beneath me or the wind in my hair. Kai was standing in front of me and the girl from town was there too.

It hit me right then what I was really seeing. The things that Kai had tried so hard to hide from me, they were falling into place before me and all I had to do was watch.

Two blades tore at each other, one Kai's and the other I could only guess belonged to the girl. Their bit beast were out and at full rage in a way I had never seen. Neither person was giving any sort of direction but the bitbeasts carried on their fight, attacking at their own will.

"What do you want?" Kai's voice was steel.

The girl stood hardly ten feet from Kai, her dark brown hair blowing in the wind behind her. She half smiled at him. "Oh dear don't worry I promise it won't hurt. But I've decided you just aren't worth the blood you're made from."

"You're insane. Better hurry back before they notice you missing at the asylum."

She shook her head while a small laugh rose in her throat. " Kai you don't get it do you?" Before I could blink she was infront of him with her hand on his throat. I watched the emotions flicker through his eyes as he realized she wasn't joking. I wanted to run to him, put myself between him, anything to save him. My feet weren't even beneath me yet I was grounded in place.

"Why?"

The smile left her face. "It's really quite simple dear. I'm surprised some one so bright has to ask. You've so much to offer this world yet you keep it all to yourself. So lonely. So wasted. The pain you cause and don't bother to clean up. What good are you to this world? When it comes down to it. It's simply none."

Kai was quiet in a way that I had never seen before. It was as if part of him was accepting the lies she spoke to him. The girl's face turned before anything else could be said, her attention turning beyond him. I knew Kai didn't notice, he was lost in himself. Her hand dropped from his throat as she pulled a knife from thin air and sliced him across the chest, he let out a foul scream. Then she slit him again before he could react, another scream pierced the air.

She stopped and her attention again was behind him, this time he followed her gaze. I should have known what was there before I even looked. I saw myself standing there, half a sleep, and eyes full of panic. I had been far too a sleep to really comprehend what I was seeing at the time.

Kai turned around sharply around, and even though I couldn't see his face from where I stood my chest still hurt at the memory of it. Panic filling those beautiful eyes of his. I heard my name just barely slip from his lips.

The girl flicked her hand and I watched as the other me crashed into a large tree and then tumbled off the hill and to the ground near them. Kai tried to run to me, but the girl had some how reached me before him. She craddled my head in her lap. Blood dripped down her hands and thighs and onto the ground.

"Oh my, my you poor thing. You just had to be caught in this web. You little angel." Her words were soft like a melody. They were almost sincere instead of utterly insane. Kai limped over to us, blood trailing behind him. "Get your filthy hands off of him!"

She looked up at him, a smile pulling at the side of her lips. "Maybe this could be more interesting than I intended. "

"I said get off of him."

She smiled, the knife she had used to cut him from on the ground beside her. "You're in no position to bark commands." She pulled my shirt up and sliced across my stomach. Kai went stiff as a board, neither of us had expected her to be so crazy.

Kai hesitated for a moment, " Take me just let him live. Let Max live. He's not ready to die."

"You really do care about him don't you?' Kai said no words and simply nodded.

The girl placed my head down softly on the ground and stood slowly. Her walk to Kai was slow and meaningful. "If you really mean what you say. I can give you a chance. Maybe I was wrong about you? I'm always up for a challenge. "

He closed the last bit of distance between them. "What is it?" She drew her hand up from her side dropping her knife to the ground. The blood, my blood, dripped from her fingertips as she placed a hand on Kai's face looking up at him.

"He will die, his life has already been cut from this world. But if he shares a tie with someone else who has a life force he can live on. Or if that life force is given to him. I warn you now neither are as simple as they sound."

"Do whatever you have to. Just don't let Max die."

She smiled again and pulled his face down to hers. I tried to scream as her lips met his. It was only a few moments but it made me want to kill her myself, not even considering my body lying in the dirt quickly dying.

A stream of blood dripped from Kai's mouth, he seemed unphased by anything. Determination showing in his eyes. "You can save him now, if you're willing to go where you haven't before and form the bond between you two... the one that will save him."

Kai jumped past her and threw himself on the ground next to me. He looked painfully down at my body as more blood pooled from my skull and chest. He put his hands on my head, "Maxie come on back to me. Please Maxie you can't die yet."

I watched in horror and awe at the whole scene. I would never had imagined Kai would care so much or that I'd be dying. It was all too much for me too handle.

"What do I do? I don't know."

The girl stood close to him. Too close for my taste. "You have to form the bond by going where you've never gone before." She spoke like it was the most obvious riddle.

He looked down at me dumbfounded. I watched him as his mind scrambled to figure it out. I thought I knew but I had no way to tell him. My lips were both dying and mute.

It hit him finally, his whole body tensing over for a moment before he took me into his arms like a small child. His hair fell over his eyes so that from where I was I couldn't see . And he placed his bleeding lips on mine. The kiss was one that lacked loved and passion but had plenty of urgency and determination. I knew he wantd to save me enough to do something he never would have. I doubted that thought had ever crossed his mind in a million years.

The blood on my head stopped flowing. The cut on my chest sealed itself completely. Immediately the color in my face was returning and to think I hadn't even realized how pale I had grown. He pulled his lips away from mine only far enough to speak. "Maxie, wake up."

If I had known any better I would have sworn I was sleeping. And then I realized thats all that I was doing now. I watched as my arm left my side and wrapped it around his neck. I couldn't see Kai's face but I knew he was smiling. His grip tightened on me.

"Kai, don't stop. That felt good."

He pulled his head back in surprise. I thought for a moment that he might just drop me then and there and go back to his usual manner. Instead he pulled me close and kissed me again. This time it was slow and deliberate.

"Kai." He stopped kissing me instantly and turned to face the girl who was still standing near. However he held me closer to him, protectly against his chest. The girl seemed to have lost all her smile and laughs. An odd serenity filled the air. "You have formed the makings of a bond between you two. If you don't figure out how to balance it so that you both can live off of one life force, one of you two will take it and the other will die. Max won't know anything if you don't tell him. But you'll need him if you intend to do anything except let yourself die, I mind you now it won't be quick and easy or pleasant. None of the options are easy. For any to work they require effort or else you'll both end up in a limbo and die."

"I'll make sure he comes out of this alright."

She placed her hand on Kai's shoulder but he couldn't pull away. " I have faith in you."

No more words were spoken as he craddled me in his arms and stood. The girl turned away from him and towards the blood on the ground, she looked sad and filled with regret. What was she planning? Was that really what she had meant to do?

My body began to pull me back to the current time, my vision began to blur and the last thing I saw was Kai holding me close in his arms with care.

Kai's hands still held me close and his lips were attached to my neck. I opened my eyes and cried out, tears ran down my cheeks as all that I had seen washed over me. Kai felt the change in me instantly. His face pulled from my neck and looked up to find my eyes that were streams of hot tears. It was all so overwhelming.

"Maxie did I hurt you?" His voice was laced with love and concern. What he was doing now... he had made a choice. I knew it as she has said the words all the things that had happened to him... I understood. All the things I had felt... made sense. He had meant to let himself die in order for me to live. But something changed... and now everything was a world different than it had ever been.

Our eyes locked and I knew that he knew that I had seen everything that happened. He looked ashamed and wanted to pull away. I wrapped my arms and legs around him tighter. I wouldn't let him go, I wasn't letting him run away.

"Why didn't you let me die?"

Kai looked at me, deep into my eyes. No words were needed, somehow I could feel what he felt. There was an odd bond that had formed between us. Except it wasn't a bond. It had always been there and I knew it. Kai had just never noticed it. To me it was just a crush, until now. Kai had made the choice to take it further than that. It was something honest that neither of us could deny. The words never left his lips but I knew the words he meant to say. That he had loved me enough to give up his life to save me, but when he realized that he loved me more than a friend loves another and that I felt the same. He gave up all restraint.

"Maxie."

No other words could be said between us. I smiled at him and he whiped away my tears with his tumb. I let my legs fall to the ground and we held each other close in the deep dark of the moon light.

I had found out so much. But I knew it was only the beginning of a longer journey. I would follow that path where ever it took me as long as I was with my Kai and he held me close like this no matter what.

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I hope you all enjoyed it because I loved writing it. Sigh this whole fanfic was based off of their lil intimate scene lol. Let me know what you guys think! Im probably going to end it in a few more chapters *sniff sniff* but Im not sure. Thanks for reading!


	7. A Bond Between Us

I am so sorry everyone that it has been forever and a thousand years since I last updated this story I really never intended to let this happen. But my stupid computer broke. Luckily a friend of mine has decided to let me use theirs hah. For all of you readers who have stayed with me from the beginning of this story I really appreciate all your support to my stories. Thanks everyone!

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**A Bond For Two**

When I woke up the next morning it all seemed like one big dream. Not just the night before but the last few weeks. Kai's sickness... all the weird things that had happened... The strange girl who attacked us both. I almost felt normal, revived even. I laid for what seemed like an hour in the comfort of my blankets, not daring to open my eyes in fear that the peace I was experiencing would disappear. I heard the rustling of blankets not far from me. I hoped that didn't mean it was about time to get up for training. I rolled over on my back, causing my covers to fall away from me. I shivered from a cold draft.

I never heard a sound at all but someone knelled beside me to pull the covers back over my small form. My eye lids fluttered for a moment as I barely glimpsed Kai's soft smile. It was one of the only things that reminded me that everything that had happened was reality and not just a dream. I felt soft lips just barely whisper across mine, I wanted more but before I could do anything Kai was up and gone.

It was enough for me though. Yes I felt an odd coldness without Kai as close to me as he had been last night. But I knew he'd come back. I knew some odd bond had been formed between us. Neither of us could escape it now. Neither of us wanted to. Kai had made that clear last night.

_Kai held me close for what seemed like hours. My arms and legs were still wrapped around him as I nuzzled into his neck. He smelled wonderful in a way I couldn't put words on. It was just Kai. Everything about him was wonderful. The way he held me close for so long, he never even seemed to be phased by my weight. He was so strong it made me feel small in a good way. Like a little treasure just for him. He held me up with one arm under my butt while his other hand explored the curves of my face. Our eyes never left each other up until I had buried my face in his neck. His intense gaze was enchanting._

_I was starting to feel so tired. But I was terrified that everything that had happened between us would end if I let myself fall a sleep. I pushed against Kai to let him know I wanted down. __He knew me too well from over the years. "Whats wrong?"_

_I choked on fear that suddenly overtook me. "I'm scared this won't be like this tomorrow. I don't want to lose you Kai. Not when I feel like you finally opened up to me." I couldn't even begin to explain to him how much I feared that would happen. If I lost him after finally getting to this point I thought for sure my heart would explode and I would die._

_He kissed me softly on the lips, taking my breath away. "Maxie you saw what happened in that field." _

_I could only manage a small nod. "I need you to know one thing Max. I intended to give you my life. Up until tonight I continued to stand by that. I never wanted you to have to love me. Even when you came to me that night on the porch. I wanted to push you away so you could be happy and free. Someone like you shouldn't have to deal with this burden. I'm sorry... I never meant for any of this to happen. But I refuse to let that girl take you out of this world because of me. If in that field she had told me it was you or me. I would have chosen you Maxie."_

_"Don't you ever do that to me. Ever! I don't want to lose you Kai!" I was in panic now. I grabbed onto his shirt as if it would keep him from leaving me. He only stroked my head and pulled me close to his chest. "If that's what you want."_

_"Please Kai don't forget we're in this together. I'm a part of this as much as you are. That's what that girl meant. This bond impacts both of us. If you hurt, I hurt. Don't push me away again, please."_

_Kai was silent for a minute. " I promise I won't. I don't do anything half ass. We're in this together no matter what." He leaned down and kissed me. A simple action that seemed to seal his words in a steel safe. I fell into him as we kissed, my legs seemed beyond able to support me all of a sudden. Kai understood more than I did. He had scooped me up in his arms before he broke the kiss. My head lay against his shoulder, my body was so exhausted I couldn't hold it up. _

_"Kai..." my voice was barely a whisper now._

_"Sshh." He carried me to my bed, he managed to pull back my covers and place be beneath all without shifting me around. He pulled the covers up to my chin, his hand just barely ghosting against my flesh along the way. I knew it wasn't an accident. It was all so intimate and intense I could hardly believe I wasn't in a dream._

_Our eyes locked for a few minutes. So much was said between us, yet no words were spoken. A whole new world had just opened up to us. A world I had only dreamed of until now. Somewhere deep inside I knew that Kai had felt the same way as I did for a long time now. He just wasn't the type to allow himself to love another. Was this love? I think at first it wasn't. Maybe just a crush. Maybe I'm wrong. But with all that had happened we could only love each other with a deep part of our hearts that tied us together in an odd web._

_Some part of me still couldn't sleep. I think Kai sensed that because without an warning he moved to sit by my head with his back to the wall, I couldn't see him but he stroked my hair. Toying with it between his fingers. It was a small gesture but before I knew it I was drifting into a sweet, sweet sleep. _

I wasn't sure what the day would I knew whatever it was I wouldn't be facing it alone. Everything he had said to me he had meant. Kai was known for never saying anything that he didn't follow through on. I highly doubted this would be an exception. I shift in my sleep again adjusting my pillow slightly. I heard the flutter of paper as something dropped off my pillow. I sat up suddenly from my bed. Everyone was still sleeping, no one seemed to notice that Kai had left except for me. I rolled over completely to find what the paper was. It was a small note folded over a couple of times. On the front it simply read _Maxie._

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I hope everyone enjoyed that little chapter. I do apologize again for updating so late. Blah. I will continue this story I promise no matter how long it takes me. I refuse to be an author that leaves a story unfinished. God I have nightmares about that short of thing. I'd love to hear all of your thoughts on this story the good and bad. Thanks for reading!


	8. Exposed

I told everyone I would be writing more soon. I finally got some time and sat down to update this story. I'm not sure if when I first started to write this story if this is where I intended to go with it. To be honest the whole story was written for the one scene in chapter 5 or 6 which ever it is that kai and Max first really get intimate. I just wanted to share that scene but had to build up to it so it actually made sense. Now I'm still trying to stick to that same kind of concept.

I really don't like to make characters to OCC but if I haven't said before with this story it makes sense. They're being OCC for a reason not just because I'm horrible at writing for characters lol.

Thank you to everyone who has read up to this point and to all of you who have left such supportive reviews and messages. Especially Stariceling, all your encouragement definitely has helped me to keep remember to update this story and to have confidence with my odd story line, so thanks ;D.

WARNING: nudity, yaoi stuff.

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**Exposed**

I held the letter delicately in my hands. I was filled with excitement about what it could be, coming from Kai it could have said nothing more than "Hey" and I'd cherish it. He really was doing crazy things to my heart. I sat up in bed and slowly unfolding the paper. I swear my heart felt like it was going to jump out of chest, the letter was short, written in Kai's neat hand writing.

_Max,_  
_I meant everything from last night, I don't regret anything. I promise._  
_-Kai_

_P.S. You're beautiful when you sleep._

I blushed a deep crimson that I couldn't hold back. I smiled so big it hurt my cheeks, he really did mean it. Kai and I would be together, what that would end up meaning I wasn't entirely sure. But I was ready to take on anything at this point. My most cherish dream came true and here I was living it in at this very moment. I fell back on my pillows. God this was all so unbelievable and amazing. This was going to be a great day I could just feel it!

I rolled over with the letter between my cheek and the pillow. It smelled like Kai. Something about it excited me way more than it should have. Due to my restlessness that came with the excitement I got up from my blankets taking the note with me and went to the bathroom. I placed the letter on the counter next to Dracile, just looking at it made my heart flutter.

I stood in front of the mirror gazing at myself. My golden locks were in a thousand directions and my eyes were still droopy with sleep. There was nothing beautiful about what I was seeing. I can't imagine what would have inspired Kai to write that. Now he was beautiful. Those sharp crimson eyes, the muscles in his arms and chest. His intoxicating smile. I spun away from the mirror embarrassed. Did he think of me like that? Me? Something to be wanted?

When I thought about him in that way it filled me with a desire. Almost a need. I wanted his body pressed against mine like last night. I touched my lips and they felt cold where his had been. I needed his fiery touch, like I needed his passionate words. I shock my head. I was getting too obsessed with the situation, I knew I needed to step back and not lose myself in it. Despite how much I wanted to lose myself in him.

I resumed the task I had set out to do in the first place, getting a shower. I took off my clothes piece by piece, desperately trying to avoid brushing across sensitive parts of my skin. They pulsed with Kai's previous touches. Begging to be touched more. I couldn't help my lower parts from getting excited especially after being exposed to the chilly air. I turned on the water and quickly got into the hot stream. Everything that touched my skin was just worsening the situation. My body was craving to be touched. To be stroked, to be loved.

I wanted Kai so badly it almost hurt. He was becoming a need. I wished so badly he was there with me. His strong hands holding me close again, fingers raking down my naked flesh. I didn't even realize I was running my hands across my own chest until a moan escaped from between my lips. I froze. I didn't hear anything beyond the shower and released my breath. Thank God no one else was awake at this hour I don't know how I would have explained that. Or if anyone walked in and saw me like this. Although the steam was thick I doubted they'd really see much.

I sighed again and stood under the hot water with my eyes shut. My mind wander to thoughts of Kai again. And the wonderful things I wish he would do to me one day. After last night I felt I could safely think that the things my body was craving would come through eventually. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't hear the door open. I kept imagining Kai's arms wrapped around my naked body, his lips on my skin sheering my flesh.

Suddenly the curtain to the shower flew open and I was pushed hard against the shower wall. I was pinned with my hands behind my back and my chin tilted up. Before I could even try to struggle my lips were captured quickly before my neck was ravished in breathtakingly hot kisses. I was melting and it was no fault to the hot water. Without warning the kisses stopped and the lips pulled away leaving my skin twitching. When I opened my eyes I had to blink a few times to see Kai through the steam. He had that smug grin of his on.

My cheeks were burning from him being so close, my head was dizzy from his kisses. I'm sure I would have slipped to the ground if he hadn't held my hands behind my back. I wanted him so badly it hurt, literally hurt. I froze suddenly, oh no. I was completely naked in the shower with a hard on. Dying from embarrassment was a distinct possibility. Kai hardly seemed to notice it. There was a sudden lust in his eyes however. I didn't feel so shameful as he caressed my cheek with his hand.

"Kai what are you doing here?"

His grin faded to his normal look it was almost cold to see him like that. But it was the Kai I was use to and I took an odd comfort in it. "I kept feeling you calling to me. I got worried."

"Oh," was all I could manage being so close to him. His stare was enchanting me again, I could hardly focus. "I'm alright as you can see." I instantly regretted my words.

"I hadn't anticipated finding you like this," his gaze skimmed down my body, I knew even in through the thick steam he could see my erection if he hadn't already felt it before when he pushed my against the wall.

I looked away embarrassed by myself. Here I was completely naked and horny in the shower while he was fully clothed with his cool composer as always. Wait he was fully clothed?

I turned my head back to see that he was indeed fully clothed minus socks and shoes. "Uh Kai, you're getting totally soaked you know?"  
He only shrugged his shoulders, "It was worth it to see you exposed."

The way he said exposed really did make me feel just that and I turned my face away from him again. I was mortified even though I knew I shouldn't be.  
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you. You really are beautiful."

He was kissing me again softly on the neck all worries washing away from me. "Please forgive me." He still held my hands as my body twitched beneath him. "Forgive you? I'll give you whatever you want."

God this was so unlike me. This bond was filling me with raging lust that craved Kai and only Kai. I would never have said that normally or meant it. Right now I did mean it in every single way. I tried to push closer to Kai unconsciously needing his body against mine.

His lips became more forceful against my flesh driving me mad. The hand he didn't use to restrain me explored my body, starting with the the curve of my back, to my soft hips and up my chest. So simple, yet so powerful. It was driving me so close to the edge I felt I was going to explode. "Maxie you really do have a beautiful body."

I blushed and his lips were on mine hot and passionate. His tongue parted my lips, dominating mine on impact. My member pulsed hard begging to be touched. Kai pushed against me finally, our bodies pressed hard against one another. My sensitive erection rubbed against his thigh and I thought I was going to die. But I felt something that turned me on impossibly more. He was sporting his on hard on beneath his clothes that pressed into my pelvic bone. God I wanted him naked against me. I needed to feel his skin on mine. Wanted to explore all the secrets of his flesh.

He pulled away from my lips leaving me panting uncontrollably "Kai.." I couldn't get any other words out of my mouth. Without warning he grabbed my pulsating member in his free hand and pumped it hard. His hands were big and strong, taking full control of me. Those lips of his found my ear lobe nipping it once as I let out a moan before sucking it between his lips. I let out a stream of moans. I was brought to the edge so fast it was literally blinding and I tried to scream out his name but his mouth had already captured mine. It took the moment of me coming to such an extreme that when it was over I completely lost control of my body, almost slipping to the ground. Kai caught me though, never letting our kiss break.

I was vaguely aware that I had come all over Kai clothes and was thankful that the shower was still running. His mouth trailed down from mine and he left soft kisses across my collar bone. He lowered me to the floor of the shower where he sat me on his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist. Those lips didn't stop for a moment leaving blazing kisses on my neck.

"Kai that was..." I couldn't form a single word or phrase to describe how I was feeling.

"Hn."

I pulled his head away from me with what little strength I had. I looked in his eyes, the lust I had seen was gone now. Replaced with something stronger than that. In those crimson eyes of his I could see how much he cared about me. He loved me. With every ounce of his heart he loved me.

"Can you move?"

"Of course I can!" Despite my words I tried to remove myself from his lap with no luck. My legs were jell-o and my arms were lead. He had stolen all the energy from my body but it felt so good. So right. Kai knew better than to trust my words.

He smiled at me briefly before he shifted me on his lap so that he was cradling me against his chest, I gasped in surprise as he stood up holding me. "I'm fine, I'm not done showering yet!"

Clearly he was not convinced as he stepped out of the shower both of us dripping puddles on the floor. He sat down on the floor with his back against one of the walls, he pulled a towel off the rack and partially wrapped me in it as I adjust to lay curled in his lap with my head against his shoulder. I was warm in the best way possible.

"Rest for a few minutes then you can finish your shower," He hesitated before he spoke his next words. "I want to hold you first."

At that moment I wanted nothing more than to make him happy, if him holding me close like this, like I meant the world to him would him happy than so be it. I laid against him loving every single second of it.

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Despite how short this chapter was it was a really big one for me so I'd really appreciate some feedback on it. Thanks so much :D


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